I’ve been hermiting away, my attention focused in on my internal landscape, my family and friends, my clients and colleagues, and this space. I’m needing to tend to myself in a time of transformation and the emotions and shifts that come with big transitions.
I wish I could say I’ve been fruitfully embracing this time in my cocoon, chill and slow and relishing in a quiet season but honestly, it’s hard. My patience is waning and I’m constantly wishing I was at the end already!! emerging a beautifully formed butterfly. Ask any butterfly, that’s not how it works. Cocoons may appear cozy, but there’s uncomfortable work of growth happening beneath the surface.
I’m realizing that all this while wrapped up snug in my cocoon, I’ve been pushing just a little too hard. The pressure is akin to teaching someone to center on a potter’s wheel - you try too hard and it just won’t work, which is to say I’ve been worrying over things I can’t control rather than sitting with my feelings and breathing mindfully with my lungs and listening to what’s inside me.
So this past week I put on an OOO and didn’t check my emails. I indulged in being present with dear friends in a beautiful place. It was very difficult not to check in on my email - just a peek a couple times a day couldn’t hurt right!! - but I held tight to my promise to myself and when I landed back into my real life last night, I felt an ease I haven’t felt in a long time.
I may not be ready to come out of my cocoon yet, but I took a few days off and it felt refreshing and scary and also like I can breathe again.
I took a few days off and not until I woke up this morning did I remember that I write to you every week. And while I have a road trip to embark on, more time to relish with friends before I sit down at my desk again, I still felt pulled to take a quiet morning to connect in this space.
This letter is very imperfect and unedited and not at all polished. It feels more rambly than usual and it also feels just right. I wanted to show up to this space today in my imperfect state, because that’s where I am in this moment. I hope it shows you it’s okay to show up however and wherever you are too, no matter how imperfect it may feel.
PS - A quick and easy practice of embracing imperfection for you!
I know how difficult it can be to lean away from perfection. I’m always encouraging practicing imperfection through playing with art and how you show up in the world, but that can feel like an awfully big task and I wanted to share something simple you can start with today!
Here’s what it looked like for me:
As I went through a day, I sought out as many imperfect things I could find that were also beautiful to me. Small reminders that it’s okay to let go a little, that sometimes imperfect things are the most delightful parts of life. The first one was this capture of my messy bedhead overlooking the sunrise at my cousins house with her floppy, sweet dog curled in my arms. Normally, the power lines would frustrate me - they’re ruining the magic! - but this quiet moment was special and beautiful, power lines and all.
What can you find today that’s beautiful in all it’s imperfection?
** I have a few openings for new clients in my virtual psychotherapy practice, including EMDR therapy! You can find out more here and schedule a free consult here. **
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