Please know today’s newsletter is heavy in the topic of grief. If you're experiencing grief and need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me directly or find a therapist in your area. Take gentle care of yourselves and your community - sending love to whoever needs it.
I’m uncertain of how many times I've shared space with another human while they were deep in the throes of grief. It’s heavy work, sitting in full presence with the immensity of another’s grief and not reaching to lessen their pain. But I know from experience and years of education and training that a person riding a dark wave of grief doesn’t need a clumsy scramble for faux relief or a feeble attempt at a silver lining. They need a human witness, someone fully present with them in the magnitude of their loss.
Grief is intimately personal, as unique as the person working through it, while also being an overwhelmingly universal experience. You can’t live a full life without it, it’s part of the deal. Grief lives deeply in our innermost lives and it expands collectively when we read the news or feel cultural turmoil. Craving a retreat into isolation is natural, yet healing arrives with practicing connection and healthy processing. Connecting with someone who can hold space as you process your grief is a powerful balm.
Today I’m sharing a few more ways to honor and navigate the waves of grief we all experience. Practices I’ve found to be helpful for clients, loved ones, and myself, as we wade through one of the more painful parts of being human.
Ritualize moments to keep the spirit of your loss alive. In the wake of the loss of a loved one, it could be lighting a candle in their memory or setting a space for their spirit at the dinner table or sending off a little prayer to their soul whenever you see their favorite bird out your window. If it’s the loss of a childhood you wished you had experienced, maybe it’s caring for your inner child in the way you need most. Small rituals can be a space for creativity and holding space for your unique loss with meaning.
Honor your loss in the best way you know how. Raise money for a cause near to your loved ones heart. Visit that special bench in the park where you used to sit with your pup and let the feeling of their presence wash over you. Arrange rocks from their favorite beach on the mantle in your home.
Write as a way to process and reflect. Write out your feelings and your cherished memories and what you miss and what you hope for your future. Write a letter to a loved one in connection with their spirit and let it wash into the sea at their favorite beach.
Create art to express and process what you’re feeling. Wrapping yourself in a memorial quilt or breathing through the meditative process of drawing a mandala or stitching together your loved ones linens into a curtain can bring a comforting peace to your body and quiet to your mind and meaningful beauty to your space.
Ground in nature with a hike or simply feeling fresh air on your skin while looking up at the sky, a reminder that you’re a part of something so much bigger than you. Ground in your body with meditation or a somatic healer. Ground in creation with a pottery class that brings you into your body connects you with the earth.
Connect with others who have been through something similar and with loved ones who want to be there for you.
Read the words of people sharing stories of adjacent loss. Great solace can be found in the words of others. In terms of loss and grief, I appreciate Paul Kalanathi’s When Breath Becomes Air and Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking.
Be easy on yourself as you navigate the ebb and flow of the waves of grief. Be easy on others as they find their own ways to support you. Grief is difficult to navigate and it’s not always clear what to say or how to act as others process and grieve. Be gentle with yourself and your loved ones.
Wishing every human being safety, connection, and healing, especially in these dark times.
Some new ceramic work in my shop: shell dishes, a glowy lamp, and a mug to honor feeling your feelings
These stunning windows stopped me in my tracks
An easeful guide to beginning a meditation practice.
Inspired by the poem ‘love’ in Alex Dimitrov’s Love and Other Poems, here is a list of things I love. What would you put on yours?
I love that dogs wag their tails when they’re happy, their joy can’t be hidden.
I love when a friend texts me something that they know I’d like, something that reminds them of me, something that lets me know I’m on their mind.
I love when someone visits me in New York City and I get to see it through their eyes and it becomes magical again.
I love building things out of clay while listening to dancy music and it feels like me and the clay are the only two things in the world.
I love when I get an email that something sold on my website and my heart flutters knowing that someone chose to spend their dollars on my art.
I love when I connect with a client and I see them putting in their hard work to heal and I watch it slowly working.
I love when you see someone finish a book on the subway and they slowly close it and sit contemplatively until their stop.
I love sipping the warm coffee I order in bulk from my hometown that my partner brews for me in the mornings.
⋰ email: grace@cadywest.com