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how to stop being an asshole to yourself
The energy entering your orbit is a mirror. The positive lens with which I view the world around me, mixed with privileges I hold, blesses me with a light and airy experience of the world most days - smiles from strangers, sweet chats with acquaintances, negative interactions quick to slide from my thoughts.
But most days don’t happen every day.
Late last week, my mirror went cold - an anxious energy I’d been nurturing caught up with me. Our morning stroll felt gloomy with the negative loops in my head spiraling out. As we got closer to home, a biker busted through a red light, almost pummeling over our pup. Anger ensued and the biker stood there, wordless and glaring - a mirror of my negative energy uncomfortably staring back at me. He refused to leave, following us as we walked around and around the block. His wordless stare felt like the world warning me to stop with the negative thought loops. He was living proof that being an asshole to myself would only compound into thick layers of bleak energy.
Eventually he whisked away in a huff, leaving me to face the message and uncover tools to reset my energy, recalibrate my mindset, rediscover the airy demeanor I usually embody.
I wrote you a list of the tools I turn to, in case you too find your energy mirroring back in uncomfortable moments of reflection.
Ways to turn it around:
Add water. After the biker run-in last week, I went to swim laps at the YMCA and felt immeasurably better. A soft bath or quick shower does the trick too.
Breathe in silence. Put a timer on for however long and turn your phone on silent before sitting comfortably and focusing on your breath. Breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds - on repeat.
Fold clean laundry.
Play with some earth.
Light a candle and watch it flicker.
Make a cozy cup of tea. Do nothing while you wait for the water to boil.
Write it all out, leave it on the pages.
Take a walk and find at least one stranger to smile at.
Find a tree to stare at, notice its details: the color of its leaves and the texture of its bark.
Pet a friendly animal.
Write a letter to a friend and walk it to the mailbox.
Write a love letter to yourself. You can burn it after if you want.
Scream - very loudly - into a pillow.
Read a short poem.
May we all project the energy we wish to receive, and turn it around when we must.
My baby niece is coming to the big city this week and I can’t wait to watch her sweet little mind process all the action of NYC - which type of aunt do you think I am? (hint: I’m all of them :)) I’ve been reading Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and am looking for a couple of fun summer reads, if anyone has any suggestions!! After reading this I’m dreaming up summertime clay workshops.
thank you for being here xoxox
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