Early in my twenties, I was spiraling through a rough summer with a mind-numbing job in the suburb of a city where I didn’t know a soul, when my brother came for a weekend visit. His comforting presence was a balm to my aching reality. Dropping him at the station on Sunday afternoon, I begged him not to get on the train. ‘If you fill the hours, the days will fill themselves,’ he whispered, letting go of my tight embrace.
Fill the hours, I repeated to myself in the midst of the harder moments that week. The words lingered on my lips and seeped into my mind - and it worked. I focused on finding meaningful ways to fill my minutes and my hours, and the days moved forward with a gentler ease. It was the first time I considered the idea of little actions adding up into something grander, and the role perspective plays in it all.
Over a decade later, I can still feel the painful throbbing of my heart as I watched his train pull out of the station. And also I can look back at over ten years of little actions adding up to where I am now. The little choices - the ones that may feel small and discouraging over the course of a day or a week or even a year - they accumulate over time. In the words of James Clear, every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. I gently encourage us all to trust in slow growth, and do what we can today to get closer to the tomorrow we desire.
Tips for moving forward with action:
Don’t wait until you’re in the mood.
Your feelings moment to moment are important and valid, but feelings aren’t facts and they shouldn’t blindly guide your actions. If I waited until I was in the mood, I can guarantee you wouldn’t be reading this newsletter and I certainly wouldn’t have my degrees or have started my businesses. Go ahead and do what needs to be done, even when you’re not in the mood.Start now, with what you have in front of you.
I could spend endless hours flipping through Zillow, finding my dream desert space to create my art and host healing retreats. My dreams are important and hopefully one day I’ll get there, but in this moment, I have neither the money nor the capacity to purchase any sort of space Zillow has to offer. So instead, I ask myself: what is one thing I can do right now with what I have in front of me that can bring me closer to my beautiful dreams? That is where my focus should land.Take the first step, no matter how small it feels.
Sign up for the training, draft the email, put on the running shoes. You don’t have to attend the training right this moment! You don’t need to hit send on the email quite yet! You don’t even have to go outside and begin running! Simply start small, and the rest will follow.
My happy place in the city.
Kindness as a way of life.
I stand in awe of every runner (so inspiring!) on marathon day, one of my favorite days of the year to live in NYC.
To match the chill in the air, I’m attempting a spending freeze for the month, so someone please buy this and enjoy the coziness for me.
This recipe added an extra cozy layer on a homey, candle-lit night with friends earlier this week.
ps - I’m accepting a few new clients in my psychotherapy practice! You can find out more and schedule a time to chat here.
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⋰ email: grace@cadywest.com