Holding true to the theme of my life lately, spring continues to pass in a haze of disorientation. Since moving out of my NYC haven, I’ve been held within walls, under roofs, and in the arms of loved ones, but I have yet to land, yet to find a sense of home in any physical space. I’ve finally begun to accept that the only place I feel at home for now is within my own body - and I’m devoting energy toward making my home as comfortable and safe and calm as I can. I’m exploring how to deeply nourish myself, what routines I can build and strengthen, and in what ways I can pour love into my body, my home.
A piece of this is allowing full processing of the downpour of sober emotion I’m experiencing. I’ve had my moments of pushing it all away, of allowing emotions to get stuck within me, of feeling lost and disoriented. The body is so wise - and when I slow down and listen to mine, it’s letting me know that it’s time to process, to feel, to heal.
I’m in the midst of running an 8-week-long yoga therapy group where we explore emotions and how they show up in the body, then process through them with movement. Holding this space for clients has encouraged me to create space for myself too. I’ve been dipping into my own toolbox, offering myself space to fully process everything I’m experiencing and feeling. Allowing the beginning, middle, and end of emotions to digest through me, even when it’s terribly uncomfortable.
Emotions are ephemeral, I remind myself in the midst of the deepest swells. And they always prove me right, passing along even when it feels like they never will. When we let the emotional waves swell and crest and crash, they always calm in the end. They move through us rather than getting stuck inside us.
Clients inevitably ask me: But how do I do that! What does ‘sitting with the emotion’ even mean? Naming the emotion, feeling it in our bodies, validating it, allowing it to exist there without judgement, digesting it with writing or movement or creation or verbal processing or tears, allowing it to billow and then calm. We all deserve a safe haven within us to move through the fullness of emotions, I wish that for us all.
As I write to you, Jupiter is about to move into Cancer. Abundant blessings are finding us all throughout this next year - abundant blessings I’m sure we all deeply need in this moment.
When I closed my eyes and took three deep breaths and asked what I’d like to invite in this month, stillness came to me.
May I find stillness. | May stillness find me. | May we find each other.
As the weather warms and the seasons shift, what is it you’re feeling called to invite in?
May you find it. | May it find you. | May you find each other.
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My cactus was damaged and broken in a wind storm last year--it bloomed today, now firmly rooted in its new home...