Yesterday morning I sat on the ground cooing to my niece, encouraging her to crawl to me. Her chunky baguette legs wriggled her forward on her round belly and then she scooted backward. Sitting herself up, she looked confused. I imagined her 9-month-old mind wondering how she was close to me and then, somehow! suddenly! so much further away.
‘It’s okay to go backwards, sometimes,’ I gently told her, knowing that, while her little mind couldn’t understand my words, she certainly could sense my energy. I continued to enhearten her softly, ‘sometimes we move forward and then it can feel like we’re moving backward and then we work our way forward again. Nothings as linear as it seems, little Loie.’
‘Just like life,’ my brother chimed in with a smile as he quietly swept into the room.
Yes, just like life. Nothing is linear and everything is a mystery.
I keep returning to the piece of art I hodgepodged together last month in an afternoon of flow. It’s been giving me solace, so I’ll leave it here for you again, in case you need to sit with it too:
MAYBE | ALL THESE | PIECES | THAT FEEL | SHITTY NOW | AND DON’T | MAKE ANY | SENSE WILL | ADD UP TO | SOMETHING | SO BIG AND | BEAUTIFUL | YOU COULD | NOT HAVE | PLANNED IT | EVEN IF | YOU HAD | TRIED
This month, I’m offering myself grace. I’m offering my whole self to my own self - goodwill and honor, elegance and ease.
May we all continue to practice placing a trust the universe. May we fall into it with grace and compassion.
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